Feeling

For the past month.. everyday when i wake up..txt you when i awake.. walk happily to work as.. I look forward for every hour to pass by.. waiting to ur txt to come in to my mobile.. waiting to hear your voice.. looking forward you to have lunch with me.. looking forward to finish work.. looking forward to go to gym with u.. dinner with u.. window shopping with u.. walk with u to train station then call you on the other side of the platform. until the train come.. txt you when on the train.. txt you when reach home.. txt u b4 going to bed..

I did not eat any honey to talk sweet.. but all are real feeling..

Now, I wake up thinking of you.. txt you when i wake up.. going to work without hope... heart is very heavy.. working hour seems longer as there in no hope.. I felt so lost and no direction..

I hv no direction i am lost. what should I do with my phone, lunch, dinner, work, free time?

17/08/2008 LOVE can changed so quickly

I am feeling very sad on this day!!

Thing can change so quickly.. Just a sentence can change everything

"Is there anything you want to say to me?"

from love to promised... all the love is before and all the promised is before...
on my weakest point i got supported.. but the support did not last long..
very short and memorable.. and now.. everything have to back to b4 12 July..
I wanna move out from my house now... I feel so lonely here!!!
I miss HIM! I hope that promised will we fullfilled..
Go to UK end of next year
watch the Olympic London 2012 live together
and other promises
I will wait.. And you are the only one who know... wat else..
anyhow.. I would just wait.. hopefully miracle will happen and Love comes again..

But at least for now.. treat me like ur best fren.. care about me..

Update!!! August 2008

Well... is just me.. not sticking to my blog.. just to drop down a word to remember what is going on in my life!!! usually just a few occasion i come back to my blog and update..
Well.. I got a new job.. hard job but is cool as it pay ok... MIKI Travel Limited... Raja Chulan Wisma Lim Foo Yong... after 2 months of jobless and cashless life!!!
So what happened after New Year?

Feb 2008 -

03rd -06th: I went to Langkawi with C and had so much fun.. I thought i would make him happy cos is the first time he travelled on plane ## airasia no big deal ## but suprisingly.. he is rather calm... Stayed in Langkasuka Resort and hired a car ## Manual Proton Iswara ## Had fun driving around the island and did a lot.. But I started to get sick sometime during the trip. Swimming in the night when we are covered by stars.. I love stars.. And I love you.. CW

07th: Chinese New Year but I have to work through the New Year but I escaped from it cos.. I am very sick!!! On 1st Chinese New Year Day, I got a injection by doctor cos he is telling me that I am very serious and I nid to be injected if i want to cure quickly.. CW drive me to this doctor.. haha... CNY is rather boring!!!!

14th: Valentine's Day, I got him a teddy bear when he pick me up after work... I gave it to him.. But I just got the feeling that he is drifting away..

26th: This month is also our anniversary ##CarryLasnon## Me n CW 2 Years Anniversary.. was trying to gv a suprise but actually he found out.. well.. I sort of working night shift that night but i took leave without telling him... Then get ready everything.. cake, sparkling juice, gift ##a necklace## in the afternoon while he @ work and asked him to go to Pavilion with me after work.. Then he left the car for me to drive home on the next day and he back by Monorail.. i drive the car home as fast as possible and get ready the candles.. my hand are shaking .. my body are sweating.. I am running so fast.. I am worried that he got home and there will be no suprise.. eventually, he found out.. not really suprise then.. but he enjoy it ##that is wat he told me## Same feeling, he is kindda drifting away.

March 2008 -

12th: His 21st birthday I got him a silver key since I got him a necklace for anniversary. I have planned this ##haha##. and a small small bday cake as I celebrate with him with other fren ##@ least that time i thought they are my fren## again soon.. I put on the silver key in addition to the necklace while he is asleep and placed the cake on the table when I went to work and he is still asleep!! Actually, I love him so much!!! Well, after that we celebrate his bday with frens in Pavilion.. we went to watch "Dr. Horton hears a who" then dinner in Pavilion TGI Friday.. and suprisingly... the TGI-ian gave him a big suprise.. and I got him a Tiramisu Cake ##which I thought he love## that not exactly he like ##somehow it was tiramisu cheesecake## Haha, stupid me.. ordered a few days ago oso dunno i ordered the wrong cake!!

26th: In the same month, on the big day he broke up with me. He left without saying anything but txt msg.. I was shocked and torn... I din ask him to come back cos i sweared to myself to let go after the last BU. I pack his stuff for him and let him pick up himself... but I dunno that I couldn't let go.. I was tearing when i am packing his stuff..

April 2008 -

04th: My Birthday , I wasn't hoping that he will celebrate with me for my bday.. so i went to met someone i never met b4 who wan to celebrate my bday with me.. ##very last minute## someone i know that very day.. I was so lonely on my bday. But I am happy that I got a lots of call to wish me h. bday @ 0000.
Well.. when i get back home.. I was tearing down as i hear h bday song when i was outside my home... I open the door and see there is heart shape candles lining on my carpet... almost burned off.. my PC is onwith my photo and Happy Birthday Greeting.. with bday song and a note telling me the cake is in the fridge.. He have got the key from Steven ##very evil guy## bt he is gone back home... I called him and thanks him.. and sort of saying if he can come over... but he say no.. even so.. he came and stay with me for a few days..

I got a few nice present afterward..
A Panasonic Lumix Camera from Jack ##Thanks Jack##
A necklace with my name on it from Deion and Johnny Boi ##Thanks you 2##
Many gift from my Gor ##Thanks Gor##

Basically, the whole month after that I was under depression!!! I went to La Q.. everyweek.. drinking flirting with everyone... wasting myself ##regreted##

May 2008 -

03rd - 13th: I went to Sabah for almost 10 days to clear all my leave.. thanks to a few frens who accompany me throughout the trip in Sandakan and especially Mike who accompany me for the weekend in KK.. bringing me tasting the best cocktail i ever had and to Kundasang.. very lovely place and cold... Even so I couldn't stop missing CW.

Before I am back to work, I got a bad news from my company Ascot Sports that they will cease operation!! I am out of job from June onward.. the rest of the month I just go to office for Game and Movie.. going to work @ 10am and leave anytime in the afternoon or 3pm - 7pm...

29th: I met Prince E for the first time in Midvalley, had a great time with him...

June 2008 -

14th -15th: I went to Penang with Daniel ##My other Gor## and meet up with Prince E after we touch down ##on a coach## Had fun in Penang, went to these hawker stall opposite Sunway Hotel where they sell nice sweet soup!!! Bagan.. I love their Chocolate Mousse, Momo.. Dun like it there actually.. end up driving Prince E home as he is very tired!!

25th onward: My aunt n family is back from Holland and I travel with them.. and taking them shopping n so...


July 2008 -

01st -02nd: Went to Penang again for a day and meet up with Wayne at night for Redbox

02nd - 05th: Lankawi by ferry.. been rip off by the van driver intro by my mum... In Langkawi which is the 2nd visit for this year.. Same thing we hired a car ##Toyota Avanza## drive around.. and do Island Hoping... I did Canoeing and Paragliding.. yeah!!! Then Marine Park snorkelling n Scuba Diving.. which i got this 1 to 1 session with the pro diver to dive under the sea and I was dazzled by the calmness and only 1 word to describe "Beauty"

But all this time, I still miss C.. especially I have stayed in the same resort we stayed in b4.. and wherever me n CW been b4.. those place make me miss him even more!!!

05th - 07th: Singapore with Aunt's family as a guide.. Went to Sentosa... Missing CW.. and met a fulgy bus attendant who ask for my phone number......

went for interviewsssssss.. no luck.. until Deion intro me a job in my current company MIKI ##Thanks Deion##

12th: Watch Dark Knight with Brynn n Daniel. After that together went to M. Place when Prince E asked originally going to SIN but changed afterward. License checking for MP.

27

16th: Officially CW got attached!!!

21st: Met KT
25
22nd: I found out CW is attached. I was so upset that I hv removed all my personal profile ever since.. and wish i could let go!!!

31st: Watch Evening

August 2008 -

1st: Start work in MIKI Travel

1st - 3rd Went to Haadyai with Daniel, Jackson and Brynn.. so much fun!!!!

14th: Watch Wall-E